Foregiveness is Freedom

It is amazing how people come into our life at certain times in our life and how we attend a church service and hear a specific talk that is what we needed to hear at the perfect time.  Or maybe how we run into someone who we were just thinking about or how we get a job and that so many things had to happen at the perfect time for that to happen.  Are these coincidences??  I don't think so..this is just God's way of remaining anonymous..in a virtual sense. 

Now do things happen when we want or how we think they should?? Never...but that is the beauty of the journey of life that we are embarked on.  We are given free will..aka choices...many times a day, which ultimately play a huge impact on our life.  How we choose is in a direct relation to how in tune we are in our life with living in accordance to our destiny. 

I grew up a good kid, never getting into trouble and being a hard worker.  I had some great success in high school, college and into my professional life.  However, I was never whole or happy, so I thought that if I made more money I would have more friends and my wife would love me more.  Well, I never realized it then, but as soon as I got to a goal that I thought was the key to my happiness, I was off to yet another goal.  You see I was trying to fill that lost void in my life with material items.  This material slippery slope was a dangerous path that I embarked on, once I got down this slope, it got worse and worse and me getting off was not in sight.  Now granted, I had a plan and thought that I had everything under control, but this was just my mind manipulation that I would tell myself to quell the feeling in my gut that was telling me that what I was doing was wrong..unethical. 

What I was doing was incredibly selfish, as I was only looking out for what was important to me and how I thought I could get out of certain life situations.  I ended up abusing and hurting the one person who has loved me and cared for me the most...my mother.  How could I do such a thing?  I thought had all the possible contingencies under control, but in the meantime I dis-respected her choice to not get involved in something that she was uncomfortable with.  This set in motion a chain of events that would rock my world and everyone else who was a part of it. 

Having gone through this ordeal and hitting rock bottom in my life while sitting in a prison cell so close..physically...to the worst city on earth (Juarez, Mexico)..I prayed for forgiveness and got into reading the bible daily and doing bible studies. Trying to understand myself better and find out why I made such decisions that had such damaging consequences, I knew the teachings in the bible would lead me in one way or another to peace.

If I am given forgiveness, how can I not forgive myself?  However, living with the shame and guilt of past actions, not to mention all the judgment of others, it is hard for us humans to forgive ourselves.   It is not about being insensitive to the hurt that we have done to others, but realizing that holding on to this will never help us grow deeper and stronger.  This needs to be real, honest and sincere, otherwise it is only temporary.

After we do this, we need to forgive everyone who has ever hurt us or done us wrong...period.  This is easy to say when called out by others or when we are trying to brag to others...but none of that matters in the end. Others don't care, in a way, if you are full of it and just saying it to look good.  However, the real test is the peace that we truly feel from freeing ourselves from the right to get even or demanding of fairness.  This is a true and honest FORGIVENESS...with no strings attached and no matter what they have done to us.  As we all have done wrong one way or another and have asked for forgiveness from our actions, so how can we not give it away as well.

The real reason is that I get to be freed from the prison cell that I have been living in and they get to be freed as well...we can't hold the power.  In doing this I get to live like Jesus and honor God, free from shame and guilt...thus living a Life Without Bar's!!!